Thursday, January 7, 2010
I don't write on my blog very often. I don't even know why. I guess I thought that there would be nothing real special to write about, but there is. I have thoughts. I have memories, and lots of children. So, what to write about... My memories of my childhood are fractured. I have bits and pieces. But, I have never had a great memory, and as I get older, I realize It is not getting much better. Maybe I should do the crossword puzzles, in the Sunday paper. So lets start with a subject that I have been thinking a lot about the last few years. I am a selfish person. I have been attending a Church that my Husband loves. My children have been attending there for years. Found friends, and a husband , and more importantly the Lord. I have served in the youth, and Home school group. and I know many people who attend there. So why am I not content? I ask this question all the time. I stop attending, check out other churches. But always feel like I don't quite belong. I have decided that it is not the church. Church, is man made. It has faults. It will never be perfect. More importantly, it is not there to serve me. That is my problem. What can I get out of this? What friends can I make. How is the music? What can my kids get out of this? So I ponder. I put the big question on Facebook. What do you want out of Church? The answer is Music, fellowship, kids ministry, good teaching. While all of these things are good things, I want more. BUT... What I realized, is what I am searching for is right here. I am searching for is HIM. I want more of Him, and I have been so busy looking for him at church, that I stopped spending time with him every day. I am not talking about quiettimes, or Bible study with the kids, but real time. I want Him in the center, the hub on a tire, and everything else is just an extention of that. So Chruch, Fellowship, Worship, Ministries, Kids, Work, All of it. Spokes. So where I attend, and what they offer. They are not so important as my relationship with HIM> Maybe, I should go to church with my husband this weekend, and really enjoy what makes it all work.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Several years back the Lord took me on a journey of learning to trust Him by being submissive to my husband. Trusting the Lord to work in someone else's heart and life is just as hard as trusting Him to work in my own, sometimes harder. Somehow, I always liked to think I knew better. I still struggle with letting go and letting God do through my husband what He wants to accomplish. I'm still afraid someone is going to ask something of me that I can't (or don't want) to give.
Church stuff is hard. Though surrounded by "brothers and sisters" in Christ I can still feel alone, and then I wonder who else feels alone in the midst of the crowd... Who does God want me to reach out to? Who else needs a friend? After asking this question for many years, I still don't know the answer.
Post a Comment